The lowdown on Orso Bear, Esq

My very good friend Buttons has tagged me with a lively questionnaire.

This is splendid fun. If there's one thing I like it's a quiz or a questionnaire.

So here we go.

1. Who is the Hottest Movie Star?

Not sure what you mean by 'hottest'. I do remember talking to my good friend Bart, the star of the 1988 film "The Bear", after he was shamefully overlooked by the Academy Awards for that year. He was drowning his sorrows with a large chocolate milkshake, and I commented that he was looking exceptionally fit. He explained that shooting the film was so strenuous, with so many retakes and dangerous stunts performed under the glare of the sun, that he had lost a stone and a half, and at the end of some days he had to sit in a refrigerated trailer just to cool off.

I'm assuming that's the sort of thing you had in mind.

2. Apart from your house & car, what is the most important item you have acquired?

I share my house with some humans, who seem to think that because they pay the rent they're in charge. And I don't have a car, I ride a horse called Parker.

But the most important item I have acquired is unquestionably my silk top hat, which I wear with my black opera cloak (with sky blue lining) and silver-tipped cane whenever I enjoy a night at the theatre. Why don't people dress properly for a night out these days?

3. Most treasured memory?

When I discovered the open window around the back of the cake shop.

4. What is the best gift you ever received as a child?

I'm not a very materialistic bear, and I think the best gift I ever received was the following piece of advice from my wise old grandfather. "Orso, my boy," he said to me one day, "no matter how bad things may seem, no matter what disappointments you may encounter along life's highway, always remember that Haagen Dazs ice cream works out cheaper the more of it you buy." He was right, and I've never forgotten his wisdom.

5. What is the biggest mistake you have ever made?

Lending this bear my keyboard. Don't get me wrong, I love "The Teddy Bear's Picnic", but it's all he can play.

6. Four words to describe yourself?

Charming, endearing, handsome, modest

7. What is the lowlight or highlight of 2008?

The highlight was the 2nd birthday party of my friend Knut. Here he is opening my present: a sack of ice cream.

The lowlight was when the cake shop finally worked out what was happening to their victoria sponges and started locking the window at night.

8.What is your favourite film?

An exciting thriller about a somewhat naughty bear getting up to mischief.

9. Tell me one thing I don't know about you.

I'm thinking of becoming a doctor. I've already picked out my parking space.

10. If you were a comic book / strip or cartoon character, who would you be?

Unquestionably Yogi. I try to model myself on his resourcefulness and easy way with a one-liner. My friend Fred, who is a very old bear, remembers when this series was first shown, and he tells me that you could go out into the streets on transmission nights and not see a single bear.

Now we come to the task of handing the tag on, but it would appear that most of my favourite bears have already been tagged. I therefore open this questionnaire up to all non-human bloggers who would like to have a go. Just leave me a message in my comments and I'll rush over to your sites and look at your answers.

Until next time, then, I remain,

Yours most sincerely,

Mr Orso Bear, Esq

Paper enthusiasts salute your own Orso Bear, Esq!

Alex at Papergrain, "a little blog about stationery and beautiful things", has done a splash on yours truly.
You can see it for yourselves here.
This is both a great honour and a reminder that people who like paper are often among the first to recognise the merits of bears.

Me displaying valour

Hello.

I thought that my first post should be of an especially high standard, so as to get the whole shebang off in high style.

Rest assured, all of my posts will of course be exceptionally fine.

But of all the great things I have done, this remains one of the most impressive, so I thought I would share it with you first.

I'm thinking of the occasion on which I parachuted from the roof of my local church in aid of charity.

It was extremely brave of me, and everyone who saw it was incredibly inspired, both by my bravery and by the unflustered style with which I pulled off what is in fact an extremely dangerous stunt.

This is me being lifted up the side of the church in a basket before the daring jump. Those are my feet that you can see sticking out.

A side-view. Please note that the string you can see is purely to lift the basket. When doing the actual jump I used no wires, nets or protection of any kind. Just sheer bravery.

With just seconds to go, it is at this point that some bears find their courage is not equal to the task and change their mind. I did not.

And away I go. Until you've done it, you cannot know the excitement.

I know this looks like I'm walking up the exterior of the church, but in fact this is another thrilling action shot of the descent. I just decided to come down in this incredibly stylish way because I was so calm and collected I was able to come up with clever ideas like this while actually in mid-air.

Finally, this is me looking as pleased as Punch, as well I might, holding my Certificate of Valour. The dictionary defines valour as "strength of mind or spirit that enables somebody to encounter danger with firmness and personal bravery", so the word was particularly well chosen in this instance.

Thank you for enjoying my first post, and do please come again.

Mr Orso Bear, Esq.