Amusing Bears In The News 3

A tale of true life ingenuity and heroism. This is nail-bitingly tense, but don't worry: it has a happy ending.

Grab a bag of pop corn or a bowl of ice cream and enjoy!

Introducing my new pal Truffle

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The other evening, one of the humans I live with told me that on their way home from work they saw a bear sat in the street in the rain.

Naturally I asked them why they hadn't brought him home with them, but they explained that he might have belonged to another family, who could have been looking for him, and the best thing to do was to leave him where they might find him.

However, two days later he was still there, soaked through with rain and shivering in the cold. Naturally I insisted that they invite him to come and live with us.

He was very nervous at first, and unsure of his new surroundings. We wrapped him in a towel and sat him next to a radiator to dry. Though very shy, he eventually told us that his name was Truffle.

Here I am asking if there is anything I can do to make him more comfortable:
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He asked for a nice hot cup of coffee, so I immediately went and made him one. Actually, I'm not allowed to use the kettle, so I instructed one of my humans to make a cup for him. Here he is enjoying it, and starting to come to terms with his new home:
.He is beginning to settle in now, and we have become very good friends.
.However, he's still very nervous and unsure of himself, so I wonder if you could all do me a favour.
Could all my bear and human friends leave a message to say hello to Truffle, and saying that you are looking forward to getting to know him?
I'm sure that if he sees how pleased you all are to see him it will give him all the confidence he needs.
Thanks to you all!
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And don't forget... Coming soon... Watch this space for the first exciting adventure of:
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I'm back! And it's about time too!

Firstly, a big thank you to all my dear bear and human friends for enquiring so kindly as to my whereabouts these past few months.
The explanation for my absence is very simple - if disgraceful: the humans I am forced to share living accommodation with have been hogging the computer almost non-stop, thus denying your own faithful Orso from getting his thoughts out to you.
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However, I haven't been wasting my time during this period of enforced idleness. On the contrary, I have been studying to become a detective, and am now, even if I do say so myself, the greatest bear detective in the entire world.
I have just completed my first case - a most puzzling affair indeed entitled The Mystery of the Billion Pound Note, and I have been keeping a full textual and photographic record of its every perplexing moment.
So watch this space for the first episode of Orso Bear, Detective - coming soon!
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In the meantime, here's another of those ...
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Amusing Bears in the News!
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This is one of my favourites from last year - here's the full story:
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Bear walks into store, goes straight for beer cooler
By Associated Press
Posted: Oct. 17, 2009
. Hayward — Grocery shoppers in Hayward got an unexpected surprise when a 125-pound black bear wandered inside and headed straight for the beer cooler.
The bear made his stop Thursday night at Marketplace Foods in Hayward, walking through the automatic doors and heading straight into the liquor department.
The bear calmly climbed up 12 feet onto a shelf in the beer cooler where it sat for about an hour while employees helped evacuate customers and summoned wildlife officials.
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Well I'm sure you'll agree that things have come to a pretty pass when a bear can't get himself a beer or two at the end of a long and tiring day without somebody summoning "wildlife officials" - whatever they are.
To think of him having to get into the cooler and serve himself, too! And why make it so difficult to find? If you follow the link here and look at the gallery of photos from the shop's security cameras you'll see that the poor chap had to wander up and down the poorly-labelled aisles for ages before he found what he was looking for.
And where were the friendly staff to help him?
No wonder bears are such a rare sight in most of our shopping centres.
As it happens, I have relatives in Hayward and they told me that Colin, the bear in question, is rather enjoying his local celebrity status, and has even been approached by a major beer company with the offer of a sponsorship deal. For now, though, he simply intends to sit back under his favourite tree with a case of beer and take it easy. Quite right too, I say.
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Brought to you by Orso's News Service

Amusing Bears In The News (1)

Some of you may have seen the photographs in the newspapers recently of a bear in Snowmass, Colorado, who supposedly found himself trapped in a skateboard pit and had to be provided with a ladder in order to escape.

I telephoned the bear involved and, as usual, the reports are not entirely accurate.

The bear, whose name is Walter, did not 'fall' in the pit, as was claimed. He arranged to meet another bear there for some early morning skateboarding. He did not have his board with him because Bernard, his friend, was bringing both boards with him.

Unfortunately, Bernard had lost his map showing him the way to the skateboard park, and there was nobody around to ask directions.

Walter waited in the pit until it became obvious that Bernard was not going to appear, and then went home to a slap-up feed of fried egg sandwiches and barbecue sauce.

Brought to you by Orso's News Service - The Bear with a Paw on the Pulse of the Planet.

The lowdown on Orso Bear, Esq

My very good friend Buttons has tagged me with a lively questionnaire.

This is splendid fun. If there's one thing I like it's a quiz or a questionnaire.

So here we go.

1. Who is the Hottest Movie Star?

Not sure what you mean by 'hottest'. I do remember talking to my good friend Bart, the star of the 1988 film "The Bear", after he was shamefully overlooked by the Academy Awards for that year. He was drowning his sorrows with a large chocolate milkshake, and I commented that he was looking exceptionally fit. He explained that shooting the film was so strenuous, with so many retakes and dangerous stunts performed under the glare of the sun, that he had lost a stone and a half, and at the end of some days he had to sit in a refrigerated trailer just to cool off.

I'm assuming that's the sort of thing you had in mind.

2. Apart from your house & car, what is the most important item you have acquired?

I share my house with some humans, who seem to think that because they pay the rent they're in charge. And I don't have a car, I ride a horse called Parker.

But the most important item I have acquired is unquestionably my silk top hat, which I wear with my black opera cloak (with sky blue lining) and silver-tipped cane whenever I enjoy a night at the theatre. Why don't people dress properly for a night out these days?

3. Most treasured memory?

When I discovered the open window around the back of the cake shop.

4. What is the best gift you ever received as a child?

I'm not a very materialistic bear, and I think the best gift I ever received was the following piece of advice from my wise old grandfather. "Orso, my boy," he said to me one day, "no matter how bad things may seem, no matter what disappointments you may encounter along life's highway, always remember that Haagen Dazs ice cream works out cheaper the more of it you buy." He was right, and I've never forgotten his wisdom.

5. What is the biggest mistake you have ever made?

Lending this bear my keyboard. Don't get me wrong, I love "The Teddy Bear's Picnic", but it's all he can play.

6. Four words to describe yourself?

Charming, endearing, handsome, modest

7. What is the lowlight or highlight of 2008?

The highlight was the 2nd birthday party of my friend Knut. Here he is opening my present: a sack of ice cream.

The lowlight was when the cake shop finally worked out what was happening to their victoria sponges and started locking the window at night.

8.What is your favourite film?

An exciting thriller about a somewhat naughty bear getting up to mischief.

9. Tell me one thing I don't know about you.

I'm thinking of becoming a doctor. I've already picked out my parking space.

10. If you were a comic book / strip or cartoon character, who would you be?

Unquestionably Yogi. I try to model myself on his resourcefulness and easy way with a one-liner. My friend Fred, who is a very old bear, remembers when this series was first shown, and he tells me that you could go out into the streets on transmission nights and not see a single bear.

Now we come to the task of handing the tag on, but it would appear that most of my favourite bears have already been tagged. I therefore open this questionnaire up to all non-human bloggers who would like to have a go. Just leave me a message in my comments and I'll rush over to your sites and look at your answers.

Until next time, then, I remain,

Yours most sincerely,

Mr Orso Bear, Esq

How long does it take you to get served in restaurants?

.This bear ordered a cheese sandwich and a strawberry milkshake forty-five minutes ago, and he's still waiting.
Grrr!!!

Some of my colleagues and associates

I share my house with a number of other bears, and so I thought it might be of interest if I introduced some of them to you.
It's likely that I will be mentioning them again in the future, so it's probably as well that you know exactly who I am talking about.

Firstly, then, this is Polar. Polar is instantly recognisable on account of his white fur and red scarf. If you live in London, you'll know that we've been experiencing a heat wave of late. I asked Polar why he was wearing a scarf in such hot weather, and he replied that it's because he comes from a very cold country. I believe there is a flaw in his argument somewhere, but I haven't quite pinned it down yet.

This is Fred. As you can perhaps see, Fred is a good deal older than me. He's very old indeed, actually. For instance, he can remember watching Yogi Bear on its original transmission. He doesn't go out a lot and can be a bit grouchy at times, but I dare say I may be the same when I get to be his age. However, that won't be for absolutely ages.

This is Boris. Boris likes to go snuffling in the local woods where he thinks up his ideas. Some of them, like his idea to have the whole of the woods carpeted, don't really amount to much. Occasionally, however, he comes up with a very good one. His plan to make ice cream free to all bears is already at the petition stage, and we are expecting the government to reach a decision on it very soon.

And lastly, here's me, Bob, Polar, Edward, Lou, Humphrey, Lattimer, Fred and Polar's nephews and nieces watching a television broadcast of the film Bear Island, based on the bestseller by Mr Alistair Maclean. Overall, we felt it was one of those films that didn't quite live up to the expectations of its title, though there was plenty of exciting action.